Women's English

Women's English:

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain.

Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not
going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game
on TV.

Do you think im fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until
he falls asleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is
Important.

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Everything = Nothing

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.

Men's English:

"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry

"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy

"I'm tired" = I'm tired

"Nice dress!" = I hate it

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about
this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma
are you going through now?

"What's wrong?" = I guess movies tonight is out of the question.

"I'm bored." = You bored me

"I love you." = I need something

"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it...